Looking for the Same
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8
At the ripe age of 32, I have gone through more "seasons of change" than I would care to admit.
After growing up in a very steady, every-day-is-the-same, kind of town, my adult life has resembled the complete opposite. Change has become a point of immense struggle and a defining characteristic of my life.
My first big change happened just like many others when I went off to college. My university was in the same state where I grew up, but it was a good 3+ hours away, so I got the feeling of being out on my own with the reassurance that my parents, and the only life I'd ever known, were just a short drive away. And it certainly helped that my older brother was a junior at this college and my roommate was one of my best friends from my hometown.
A bigger change occurred when I graduated college, got married, and moved one state over where my husband began medical school. Once again, I was only about a 3 hour drive from my parents, but in the opposite direction. I found this transition much more difficult. In college, you find yourself flung into many situations where you are essentially forced to make friends and get comfortable quickly. There is an excitement of finally being an adult and free to make your own choices as well. But this time, I found myself in a very new place where I was going to have to really put myself out there in order to form connections. We'll talk about this more in the future, but needless to say, I wasn't too happy (or successful) with this change.
Flash forward another four years and change came once again as my husband and I found out we were moving almost 1,000 miles away for his residency. ONE THOUSAND MILES! We had only ever lived in one part of the country; this is where all of our friends and family were. In addition to the stress of the move itself, we were also trying to grow our family. We had to reconcile ourselves to the fact that this season of life was going to look very different from the one we had imagined. I was brokenhearted.
And now, yet again, I find myself in a (you guessed it) season of change. We moved almost 1,000 miles back across the country, this time with two toddlers in tow. We're a bit closer to family, but not within that 3 hour range we had once known. I am learning a new city, memorizing a new address, and adjusting to the norms of a new state for the third time. I would like to say that I've handled this transition like a pro, but that just wouldn't be true. I'm getting better, but still feel myself longing to say, "This is it. Here we stay."
When I look back over the last ten years, it can feel like nothing ever stayed the same. Most of the time, the changes were completely beyond my control. Every time, the changes have challenged me in deep, meaningful, and, yes, even painful ways. However, they have also resulted in so much growth that I know never would have been possible otherwise. Change has pushed me to discover who I really am as well as Whose I really am. So let me impart some wisdom I have discovered thus far while on this rollercoaster we call life.
When you (a Christian) find yourself thrust in a new situation where you are very alone, one of three things can happen:
You don't want to risk being alone, so you do what it takes to fit in. You observe the new people around you, noticing they are different than your previous friends, so you try to change things about yourself to fit the norm. You start acting like them and doing things they like to be included. The acceptance and adoration of others becomes your one and only goal, but you know you're losing yourself in the process.
You retreat within yourself. You tell yourself it's not important to make new friends; you have plenty of friends and family elsewhere. You'll keep your relationships virtual, and keep anyone new at arm's length. You wake up, go to work, and come home, waiting for one of your other loved ones to come visit you or for you to have time to visit them. You feel safe, but also recognize that life is passing you by while you're waiting on the sidelines.
You look at this new change as an opportunity for growth. Rather than focusing on what's new, you instead look to what is the same: you know your heavenly Father is watching over you and the Holy Spirit resides in you. You recognize that you will not be best friends with everyone in your life, and that's okay. It's not easy, but you choose to be the authentic you that God created you to be, choosing to live as a child redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ.
While I know we probably all look at this list and think, "Well of course I would choose 3," this choice is so much more difficult when put into practice. I have done both 1 and 2 before. They seemed like the easier solution at the time, and for a while they were easier. But in both instances, I could hear that still, small voice whispering, "This isn't who you are."
So if you find yourself facing a season of change today, my friend, maybe I can save you a little pain and encourage you to let God use this time to stretch, grow, and mold you. It's not going to be easy. There will be tears, heartache, and pain. You'll mourn the life you thought you were going to have while simultaneously being excited about the new possibilities before you.
I'll close with a simple truth a dear friend from my previous church imparted to me before we left: The church is everywhere. Jesus is everywhere, and He is always the same. When it feels like everything else is changing, remember He will not.
