Don’t Give Up

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:23-25

Church. It's a term that brings up a lot of emotion for a lot of people. "I grew up in Church," is something I heard all the time growing up in small-town Alabama. I remember as a child thinking it odd that the ones who always felt the need to say this no longer actually attended any of the churches in town.

Well, I grew up in church too. We attended a beautiful, old, tiny white church in the country. It didn't have a large congregation, or even any running water, but I didn't mind. My mom ran Sunday School, which most weeks consisted of just me and my siblings. That didn't stop her though; she always put as much effort into our lessons as if she was in charge of 100 children. We read the Bible, sang the old hymns, and held hands to pray. It was beautiful.

As an adult, I look back on those Sundays as some of my fondest memories. Life was just simpler back then. Waking up on Sunday always had this peace about it. Church started later than school, so we could sleep in a bit. Mom would often cook pancakes and then we would all get ready. We girls would put on pretty dresses that mom had created at her fabric store, and the boys would bring their dress shirts to dad so he could iron out the wrinkles. The eight of us would pile into the largest vehicle we owned and begin the twenty-minute drive through town and out into wooded countryside. We would have Sunday School and sit in the front pew to listen to the sermon. Then we would quickly load back up and try to beat the other churches to the best restaurant in town for some lunch.

Every once in a while, one of us kids would ask our mom why we didn't attend one of the bigger churches in town where our friends went. Since they had larger congregations, they got to have things like youth nights and revivals. My mom wasn't opposed to any of that; in fact we went to just about every VBS in town once summer came around. We got to know every church building inside and out. But my mom emphasized that we went to the Church we did because that's where God needed us to be.

Since then, church has been different things for me. When I went to college, I started going to church with my older brother. He liked to go to the early service, so I would have to drag myself out of bed for him to pick me up from my dorm by 8:00 am. But it was a beautiful, large church. Each Sunday I would leave feeling refreshed and my spirit poured into.

When I graduated college and moved away, though, I didn't hasten to find a new home church. I used the excuse that we wouldn't be living there long, so why bother? I could keep up with Bible study on my own, and we could always watch my college church online. I had also really loved the church we attended in college. It was large, much bigger than any church I had ever attended. It had a full choir of beautiful voices and we even had a full orchestra most Sundays. How would I beat the chills I would get during worship or the amazing teachings I took in through the pastor's sermons?

Last week, I heard an amazing talk titled Give Me Your Hand by Dr. Heather Thompson Day. Dr. Day highlighted a Biblical truth that has been reinforced by modern research: we were not meant to get through this life alone. God knows this. In Genesis, God created Adam and was pleased, but saw quickly that it wasn't right for man to be alone. So He made Eve. The author of Hebrews also knew this, which was why he implored fellow believers to "not give up meeting together." When we separate ourselves from fellowship with other believers, it creates a vacancy that the enemy rushes in to fill.

Dr. Day presented some startling statistics in her talk: only 16% of people turn to their friends when going through hard times; 9% turn to their family; but 81% rely on their own research. In other words, we are more likely to turn to Google than each other for advice and support! God created us to exist in relationship with other people, yet the majority of us don't actively seek out and participate in fellowship with those He has put in our path. If that doesn't compel you to call a friend, maybe this proven fact will: your physical health is more determined by your relationships than by what food you eat, how much you exercise, or your genetic makeup. Our relationships sustain us in this life.

So what can we do? Dr. Day summarized the Christian walk in this way: the goal is to become people willing to serve others. Choose to embody Aaron and Hur who held up Abraham's arms for him when he could no longer (Exodus 17). While we can't control who will offer us a hand when we're struggling, we can control when we offer our own. And I firmly believe (from personal experience) that the more you feed into your relationships, the more likely it is you will have someone there to reach out to when your bad times come. Because they will come.

For the first few years of our marriage, my husband and I didn't have a church. We tried a few, but just didn't "feel it," so we gave up and stayed home. It was also during this time that we went through one of the darkest, deepest valleys of our marriage. Looking back, I wish so much that we would have put more effort into surrounding ourselves with people who could have uplifted us with the love of Christ. When our children were born a few years later, I knew we needed to find our church home. I wanted my children to be surrounded and loved by my brothers and sisters in Christ. So when they were five months old, we chose to walk through those doors and were immediately welcomed like long lost family. They took my children in as if they were their own and have loved and supported them tirelessly ever since.

Recently, our family went through another hard season. My husband was working nights and it quickly took its toll on me and my twin two-year-olds. But I tried my best to power through on my own. Other women had done it, so I could do it too. Right? Boy was I wrong.

One Monday about halfway through his night shift rotation, everything seemed to fall apart at once. I woke up sick, my daughter fell and hurt her leg, and my son was acting out because he was struggling with not seeing his dad very often. I was tired and overwhelmed. I first called my family who wanted desperately to help, but couldn't come because of the distance. So I turned to a friend from church. I knew it was last minute, and a lot to ask of her, but I also knew I needed to get my daughter's leg checked out. When I explained what was going on, she didn't hesitate. She came straight to our home after getting off work and sat with my son so I could take my daughter to get an x-ray. When I got home that night, she had also washed my dishes and tidied up the house. I was blown away by her selflessness. When I offered to pay her for her time, she refused and said we have to look out for our church family.

If I hadn't decided to attend that church where I met this friend, I might not have had any help that day. By simply showing up, she completely turned my day around.

So here's your challenge this week friend: reach out to that friend you haven't heard from in a while and ask if you can treat her to lunch. Stop and talk to your elderly neighbor the next time you check your mail and make sure his needs are being met. If you haven't been attending church, follow the instructions found in this Word. Don't give up. You may have stopped going because of a bad experience. Or maybe it was because of a situation you were in that his since resolved. If you're anxious about meeting new people, I have great news! Since the pandemic, most churches will stream their services online these days. Watch them for a couple of Sundays to help you determine if the service will be fulfilling for your soul and help fuel you in your Christian walk. And then, the only thing left to do is GO!

I know it can be scary. I've been in your shoes. But the reward of fellowship and relationship with fellow believers far outweighs the alternative. And if you ever find yourself in Richmond, Virginia, this is your open invitation to visit me at Second Baptist Church. We would love to have you!